The more prevelent judgment that keeps occuring in my life is the judgment I place on myself for bindge eating sweets in times when I feel insecure, unloved, needing attention or just bored. I want to get down to the core of why I over eat on sweets. I have figured out that eating sweets gives me stimulation that makes me FEEL that I am loving myself. But really, this feeling is an illusion that I have encouraged over my years of being a sweet addict. When I am feeling bored, unloved or in need of attention that I cannot find, I will feed myself sweets. I dont see a problem with indulging with a blissful treat to my taste buds every now and then, but eating sweets everyday can eventually have lasting consequences that I have consciously blinded myself of seeing. When I bindge eat on sweets, its almost as if my conscious mind turns off (willingly) and by subconcious mind takes over. For example, this morning I was home alone, feeling unfullfilled and found my moms hidden stash of MnMs. I began to eat a few, after eating about 5 I told myself, Okay i am satisfied. I went back to the jar a minute later, however, and began to eat more and more. My mind was thinking about my day while my taste buds were dancing with delight. A couple minutes later, my body told me that she was not happy with my choice of over indulgance. I stopped eating after my self judgment kicked in and walked away. A loud voice in my head screamed- "EAT more mnms! they make you happy!" I quickly followed that voice and ran back to jar and began to eat more. Then I tapped into a quiet voice in my mind that was telling me that chocolate is not going to make me happy in a couple of minutes. Instant gratification is NOT the way to happiness. So I paused, took a breath and decided to put the jar of mnm's back, and you know wha?t- I felt so good! I felt so empowered by this simple action of not giving into my cravings.
So how do I get to a place where this quiet, wise and heartfelt part of me leads every action in my life? First by quieting that loud voice that encourages unhealthy and unwhole behavior, and by tapping into the one who encourages soulful and heart felt desicions. I feel that this same issue that I deal with on a daily basis, also applies to MANY americans and people on the plant for that matter. I wanted to provide an example of my own places of dissatisfaction, and not living up to my fullest potentioal so that others may see how we are all connected with this human condition of craving and how it can lead to suffering on many different levels. This is one of the human sufferings that is mentioned in Buddihism, which I clearly can relate to.
In Buddhism, they talk about TRANSFORMING these feelings of fear, craving, unworthiness, anger, jelousy and sadness rather than repressing them. By transforming these feelings that cause us to suffer, means to understand where the feeling comes from and then find a way to learn how to change the feeling of craving (in this example) to one of self discipline and empowerment.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Transforming Frusteration
I took my 9 year old cousin snowboarding the other day and he reminded me about the importanance of learning to get through frusteration in a more soothing and peaceful manner. If any one has expirience with learning how to snowboard- or learning anything for that matter- we know that there are many times of deep frusteration. Feeling like we are "NEVER going to get it" and we want to just quit! But we also know the feeling of overcoming that frusteration and finishing or learning somthing new. A feeling of exitment, fulfillment and being proud of ourselves is such a wonderful place to get to. I see many people go through life getting so bogged down by small events that create frusteration within them. This makes me sad because I can see them causing unessicary suffering apon themselves. So I wanted to take a moment to jot down a couple of tricks you could try if you are prone to easy irritation and frusteration (either within yourself, with others or just with the changing events in life).
1) When Frusteration Arises within you- notice it before you get too involved and remined your self to take a couple DEEP breaths into the belly. By breathing into the belly you are activating the nervous system- more spacifically the parasympathetic nervous system- which will slow your heart rate down and help return you back your natural- calm state.
2) Once you have calmed the body/mind and emotions and you are still frusterated, ask yourself if being frusterated helps the situation. Most likly the answer will be no. If this is the case, see if you can let frusteration go.
3) Once frusteration has been let go of, see if you can redirect your thoughts into somthing that is of service to you in some way.
I will give an example that I am sure we have all encountered at some point in our driving history.
Scenerio A: Being stuck in Traffic and it is causing you to be late to work.
1) Frusteration begins to arise: thoughts such as "Why are there so many $#%# people on the road!", "I NEED to be at work in five minutes" "Ugg, I am wasting gas just stalling here!"- So catching your self, before the horn honking, glaring, and swearing begin and reminding yourself to breathe. Dissassociating from the mind and tuning in to only the breath.
2) Now in a calmer place, asking yourself "Is it serving me or anyone else in traffic by being frusterated?" Well, it is only making me angry, and if others are receptive to my negative energy and I project that onto them, that will make them angry too. So, the answer is No- this feeling of frusteration is not serving me.
3) Now can we transform this stagnant and nonbenefition emotion- into a positive one? YES. First, I will call my boss and let him know I am running a bit late to work.Now I can let go of the worry that I will get in trouble for being let. Then I will redirect my thoughts to somthing positive or educational, maybe even trying to make the wait more enjoyable. Perhaps drumming on my steering wheel, maybe turning on some tunes and singing as loudly as I can, maybe making up a rap. Whatever your pleasure is- enjoy your new found play time in the car!
1) When Frusteration Arises within you- notice it before you get too involved and remined your self to take a couple DEEP breaths into the belly. By breathing into the belly you are activating the nervous system- more spacifically the parasympathetic nervous system- which will slow your heart rate down and help return you back your natural- calm state.
2) Once you have calmed the body/mind and emotions and you are still frusterated, ask yourself if being frusterated helps the situation. Most likly the answer will be no. If this is the case, see if you can let frusteration go.
3) Once frusteration has been let go of, see if you can redirect your thoughts into somthing that is of service to you in some way.
I will give an example that I am sure we have all encountered at some point in our driving history.
Scenerio A: Being stuck in Traffic and it is causing you to be late to work.
1) Frusteration begins to arise: thoughts such as "Why are there so many $#%# people on the road!", "I NEED to be at work in five minutes" "Ugg, I am wasting gas just stalling here!"- So catching your self, before the horn honking, glaring, and swearing begin and reminding yourself to breathe. Dissassociating from the mind and tuning in to only the breath.
2) Now in a calmer place, asking yourself "Is it serving me or anyone else in traffic by being frusterated?" Well, it is only making me angry, and if others are receptive to my negative energy and I project that onto them, that will make them angry too. So, the answer is No- this feeling of frusteration is not serving me.
3) Now can we transform this stagnant and nonbenefition emotion- into a positive one? YES. First, I will call my boss and let him know I am running a bit late to work.Now I can let go of the worry that I will get in trouble for being let. Then I will redirect my thoughts to somthing positive or educational, maybe even trying to make the wait more enjoyable. Perhaps drumming on my steering wheel, maybe turning on some tunes and singing as loudly as I can, maybe making up a rap. Whatever your pleasure is- enjoy your new found play time in the car!
Imagination
I read a quote today that some body had posted about children. It said "Children make you want to start life over". I thought to myself, why is that? What qualities do children have that we remember when we spend time with them? If this is true for some, that children make you want to "start life over" what in your life do you feel is missing?
Children show us the way to IMAGINATION. I feel this is an important quality to keep throughout our lives. Not only does it help spark creativity for new ideas, creations, and inventions, it also allows us the ability to see somthing that we cannot physically see with our eyes. This is a key understanding to how we learn. When someone is discribing how the solar system was formed, for example, we do not only listen to the words the teacher is telling us, we also visualize and picture the explanation given in our minds. By doing so, we are imagining how the solar system was formed, thus creating a picture/story in our minds that allows us to see somthing we cannot see on the physical plane.
Bringing this back to why imagination is so important in our lives as adults, is that it allows us to be in a state of constant creation- constant expanding if you will. By using the power of the imagination, the human species have defied what was once thought of as impossible. Do you think the wright brothers could have invented the airplane without first imaginating it? I dont think so!
If you feel you are lacking adventure, play and exitment in your life, use your imagination to create activities, adventures and events that will give you that sense of exitment, curiousity and adventure again! If you dont know where to start...use to your memory (or your parents memory if you can not recall) to ask youself what you LOVED to do as a child. Once you have found that thing, you can go out and create/find it in the real world. I will give an example to make this cleare if it is not already. When I was little, my favorite thing to do was to jump on our trampoline and do gymnastics tricks around the house. I had stopped doing gymnastics when I was 13. Just recently, I was feeling a lack of inspiration and exitment in my life, so I decided to try Acro-yoga, which is similar to gymnastics in many ways (plus adding the bonus of my beloved yoga practice- TWO in ONE, how did I get so lucky!) I only practice twice a week, but just this minor addition to my life has created a sense of exitment and playfullness in me that I was missing.
Now go on and use your imagination to create the life you want to live. Better yet, lets begin using our imaginations TOGETHER to create a world that we all enjoy living in. A Harmonious, enriching and loving one. Any ideas?
Children show us the way to IMAGINATION. I feel this is an important quality to keep throughout our lives. Not only does it help spark creativity for new ideas, creations, and inventions, it also allows us the ability to see somthing that we cannot physically see with our eyes. This is a key understanding to how we learn. When someone is discribing how the solar system was formed, for example, we do not only listen to the words the teacher is telling us, we also visualize and picture the explanation given in our minds. By doing so, we are imagining how the solar system was formed, thus creating a picture/story in our minds that allows us to see somthing we cannot see on the physical plane.
Bringing this back to why imagination is so important in our lives as adults, is that it allows us to be in a state of constant creation- constant expanding if you will. By using the power of the imagination, the human species have defied what was once thought of as impossible. Do you think the wright brothers could have invented the airplane without first imaginating it? I dont think so!
If you feel you are lacking adventure, play and exitment in your life, use your imagination to create activities, adventures and events that will give you that sense of exitment, curiousity and adventure again! If you dont know where to start...use to your memory (or your parents memory if you can not recall) to ask youself what you LOVED to do as a child. Once you have found that thing, you can go out and create/find it in the real world. I will give an example to make this cleare if it is not already. When I was little, my favorite thing to do was to jump on our trampoline and do gymnastics tricks around the house. I had stopped doing gymnastics when I was 13. Just recently, I was feeling a lack of inspiration and exitment in my life, so I decided to try Acro-yoga, which is similar to gymnastics in many ways (plus adding the bonus of my beloved yoga practice- TWO in ONE, how did I get so lucky!) I only practice twice a week, but just this minor addition to my life has created a sense of exitment and playfullness in me that I was missing.
Now go on and use your imagination to create the life you want to live. Better yet, lets begin using our imaginations TOGETHER to create a world that we all enjoy living in. A Harmonious, enriching and loving one. Any ideas?
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Positive constructive critisism
In Acro Yoga today Lux was explaining how to give feedback to your partner if they were doing somthing that was uncomfortable to you in any way. He said rather than saying "Your foot is hurting me!" you could say "If you moved your foot closer to my shoulder, that would make me alot more comfortable in this position". So rather than stating what they are doing WRONG, state what they CAN do to make it "right" or make it better. The same principle goes for uncomfortable, or emotionally stiring situations in relationships and in Parenting. If your loved one/friend/child is doing somthing that is bothering you or making you uncomfortable or hurt in any way tell them how it is making you feel and then what they can do to make it better- this way they can learn in a positive way and not feel the need to put up a defense. By "defense", I mean feeling like they have to reACT rather than respond. For example- when flying in acro yoga, you are in an uncomfortable position and you say "OW, your foot is hurting my shoulder" the base may react by moving his foot away quickly thus either hurting you more, making you wobble or just making it uncomfortable. But by saying "if you move it a little to the right that would make me alot more comfortable on my shoulder" then the base can respond in a way that is gentle and effective and JUST what you need, because you were CLEAR on what you needed. So in relationships, be clear with what you need in order to feel nurtured, comfortable, safe and loved and state that. If your partner or friend hears what you need and is able to give that to you, they will, and if they arent able to give it to you now you know you did your best to get that thing, are aware you cant get it from that particular relationship and are now able to seek that elsewhere (hopfully from inside yourself).
Live your dreams
As my dreams for my furture life begin to blossom creativly into more and more light I begin to see so much more clearly, that by living my dreams and hearts desires I am living with purpose. In living through my inspirations- if we break down that word "inspiriation" we get IN SPIRIT (in a way)- so in living through the call of my spirit am I am aligning to my physical human self with my divine spiritual nature. I have so often contemplated the idea behind the spirit or the soul if you will, and thus far have come to a conclusion of our soul being a particualr kind of vibrating energy. When we are inspired by somthing- the IDEA of the "somthing" vibrates at a similar resonance as our spirits vibration. By following that exitment of the inspiration, are we livng our lifes purpose? Do we have a lifes purpose or is our purpose to just have a human expirience? No matter what you beilive, I think that whatever your dreams are- there is no reason great enough that should hold you back from living those dreams. If more and more people begin to live out their dreams (which I see more and more people doing!) than we will litterally change the world. Sure, everyones dreams are differet but that is the beauty of it. Everyones dream has a place in the cosmic schemes of the universe and how it all unfolds- manifesting a more beautiful, harmonious and magical world. Now I am not talking about societies dream, or the "dreams" that were given to you- I am talking about living a life that seems so impossible, way "too unrealistic". The dream you see when you imagine yourself doing the things you LOVE to do ALL of the time- with people who you love to be with all the time.
Lets take my plans to Hawaii for example; 3 months ago I dreamt about living in a tropical paradise where I would swim with the dolphins in the morning with the sunrise, use the sounds of the waves crashing in shore as my basis for my morning mediation, live off the earth with the majority of my food being grown by a community in which i reside, getting to live with a group of people with which I share deep connection, love and passion for life and who encourage me to grow and expand into a more authentic version of ME (my spirit- embodied in human form). I dreamt up all of this vision but when I would tell people of my dream, they would tell me it was unrealistic. Some said "You have to finish school first- then you can get a job and save money so that THEN you can go do those things". Well, good thing I listened to my heart who told me that i could skip that step. My dream- the one i just wrote down- has blossumed into fruitation with practically the snap of my fingers! (okay, it took a couple of snaps) but still- my dreams are being lived and manifested into my reality.
When I tell people about my plans, many people say "Man, Im so jelous, i wish I could do that"- and what I tell anyone who says that to me is "YOU CAN!"- the truth is- that no matter what is "tying you down" can be cut/untied/unbolted and can allow you to be set FREE and go live that life of your dreams. It may take a little longer than a couple snaps of your fingers depending on your situation, but if you have a dream- Sit withit- VISUALIZE it happening and then take baby steps to getting there. Man, I could write all day long about this but I will stop this rambling for now, most likly stay tuned for a continued rambling on this subject
Lets take my plans to Hawaii for example; 3 months ago I dreamt about living in a tropical paradise where I would swim with the dolphins in the morning with the sunrise, use the sounds of the waves crashing in shore as my basis for my morning mediation, live off the earth with the majority of my food being grown by a community in which i reside, getting to live with a group of people with which I share deep connection, love and passion for life and who encourage me to grow and expand into a more authentic version of ME (my spirit- embodied in human form). I dreamt up all of this vision but when I would tell people of my dream, they would tell me it was unrealistic. Some said "You have to finish school first- then you can get a job and save money so that THEN you can go do those things". Well, good thing I listened to my heart who told me that i could skip that step. My dream- the one i just wrote down- has blossumed into fruitation with practically the snap of my fingers! (okay, it took a couple of snaps) but still- my dreams are being lived and manifested into my reality.
When I tell people about my plans, many people say "Man, Im so jelous, i wish I could do that"- and what I tell anyone who says that to me is "YOU CAN!"- the truth is- that no matter what is "tying you down" can be cut/untied/unbolted and can allow you to be set FREE and go live that life of your dreams. It may take a little longer than a couple snaps of your fingers depending on your situation, but if you have a dream- Sit withit- VISUALIZE it happening and then take baby steps to getting there. Man, I could write all day long about this but I will stop this rambling for now, most likly stay tuned for a continued rambling on this subject
Love thyself
When contemplating the deeper reasons for starting my Yoga practice, other than the superficial reasons for more strength and flexibility, I realized it has came down to finding a way to love myself more completly. I beilive that Yoga gave me a way to look deeper within myself to ask my inner self, my soul and inner child if I was alright. Find more ways to connect with all parts of myself and find what needed more love, more nurturing and uplifting. When we see things in other people that we dont like or that we judge- are actually judging that part of OURSELVES. Everyone acts as a reflection to us, So when we learn to love and embrace ourselves fully and completly we will in return love and embrace all others completly. I am noticing now that when I judge or dislike a quality in another, I will bring it back to me and ask myself to see that part in myself and ask why I am judging that part of me? Is there a way for me to get to know this part of mebetter? can I let go of the negative self beilif? I will also notice things in others that I LOVE, and will ackknoledge that part in myself and learn to love myself more. By learning to love all parts of ourselves we create a more beautiful and harmonious world by learning to see out of unity eyes, rather than the ego's eyes. Now go on and give yourself some LOVIN!
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